Teachings from Lavender

Lavender is one of the plants I have come to know quite well and that I work with very often. Her calming yet strong nature has been a big teacher for me – especially when it comes to self love. I have so much love for this amazing plant.

The first time she presented herself to me for real was about three weeks after I returned from my first journey to the jungle. Having been gone for 2 months my calendar was packed with work and social gatherings and it was all a bit of an overload to my newly sensitive system. I was preparing for a Cacao ceremony when suddenly Lavender was all I could think of, so for the first time I added Lavender to my Cacao. Lavender was present with me all of that day and guided me to go slow. She brought out a new way of being creative and I got a strong sense that she was all about SELF LOVE.

What is a Plant Initiation?

Before I go into detail of my experiences with Lavender, let me just explain what a plant initiation is to me. It can not at all be compared to the dietas I have done in the jungle but the overall idea is of course the same – it is all about connecting with a plant spirit. Where the jungle dietas are about establishing a deep connection to your teacher plants, these smaller plant initiations are more of a meet-and-greet with a plant. Like a small introduction to what this plant has to offer.

A plant initiation for me will usually last for 2,5 days (compared to the jungle dietas that are closer to 3 weeks) and will either be a full or partial fast. This may vary from plant to plant. The main thing is that I dedicate my focus, my time and all of my attention on tuning into this plant. I drink tea from the plant, smoke it in my pipe (if possible), make a lotion from the plant and what else is possible with this specific plant. I try to keep my body as clean and pure from all other things. Then I listen carefully and let myself be guided by the plant. If you are curious about mini diets like this I can recommend a book by Carole Guyett called Sacred Plant Initiations. She gives many suggestions of how to go about it.

Lavender’s personality

I have much love for this beautful plant, who keeps surprising me again and again. She has turned out to be a bit of a stubborn and pushy lady that will make sure she gets her things through. When I entered my first plant initiation with her, I had actually planned to spend the days with Chamomile and so this is what I had prepared for. But in the morning when I was about to do my opening ceremony, Lavender was all over the place.

“Wait a minute!” Lavender said “I called out for you first.” And it was true. She actually did present herself to me first, so all of a sudden I felt guilty for planning a different minidiet. Luckily Chamomile patiently stepped aside.

During my second plant initiation with her I learned that it is easier to just do as she asks. She wanted me to go into a ceremony, which I kept postponing, so instead she made it impossible for me to focus my thoughts on anything. This gives you an idea of the strong will she has.

But there are so many sides to her personality. I have also met the fun, bubbly and down-to-earth Lavender as well as the calm, soothing and soft spirited Lavender. There is so much love in this plant and she shows us how to find it in different circumstances.

All about self love

Lavender has been one of my teachers when it comes to aspects of self love. She has showed me so many different shades of self love and everytime I think I have it figured out she takes it to a new level. When I expcted self love to be about hot baths and slow days, she showed me that it can indeed also be the complete opposite.

Self love is about prioritizing time to yourself once in a while so you can rest and rejuvinate. Yes. But self love is also to actively pursue your dreams and make them come true.

This beautiful, warm and loving plant has so much to teach us about ourselves and how we live our lives. She has become a wonderful plant ally to me and I know that if she shows up all of a sudden, it most likely has something to do with me not taking good enough care of myself.

A strong plant ally

Some of the teachings I have received from her has evolved around the deep relationship between humans and Lavender throughout history. Well known for her strong and aromatic scent, her flowers were used as perfume in all sort of ways; women would wear Lavender flowers in their bossoms and her scent would be used to attract someone they loved. It is generally thought that she got her name from the Latin word lavare, which means ‘to wash’ and it tells of a time where old baths would be infused with Lavender.

But this is the only the beginning of it. She presented herself to me as ‘the Healer’s friend’ and took me on a long journey throughout history. Here she has assisted healers, nurses and midwives for centuries. She has been to so many wars with us, working to heal soldies and wounded men. Throughout plagues and pandemics she has fought to keep the diseases at bay. She has protected the sick and eased the fears of the dying. For countless of births she has assisted midwives and mothers to deliver their babies.

She is so full of strenght and determination and it seems she is always right there by our side to help us.

Healing properties of Lavender

Listed below are some of the many healing propeties of Lavender. You should always consult a herbalist before using a plant against diseases and always watch carefully how your body reacts.


  • Antiseptic and reduces pain
  • Excellent for anything skin related
  • Healing wounds
  • Used against insect bites
  • Improves digestion
  • Induces labor


  • Calming for the nervous system
  • Reduced stress
  • Induces sleep
  • Works with our dreams
  • Antidepressant
  • Stabilising moodswings

Yoni Steaming

Here is a little introduction to something I think women should be doing a lot more: Yoni steaming or vaginal steaming.

The first time I heard the word yoni steaming was in the summer 2019, when some of my Swedish friends talked about it. It seemed to be a normal part of their monthly routine and they were very surprised that I had no idea what it was. I almost felt a little bit dumb for having no clue what they were talking about, but I was very interested in this new thing.

Yoni steam, Pelvic steam, Vaginal steam, V steam, Chai-yok or Bajo – it’s all about the female genitals

Fast forward 1 year and we were gathered again in the summer 2020. By then I had forgotten that yoni steams even existed and my own steaming journey had not yet begun. But the topic seemed to magically emerge once again and this time I was ready to explore it further.

The history of yoni steaming

I am not sure from where this ancient practice originated, but I do know that for centuries women has been using yoni steams all over the world: Central- and South America, Asia, Africa, India and Eastern Europe. It has mainly been used to cleanse the uterus related to menstrual difficulties, menopause or after birth healing and in all of these places the female womb is considered something sacred.

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the female genitalia – the womb and the uterus. It means “sacred place” and symbolize the sacred portal to life.

I think it is such a shame that in many parts of the world (including where I grew up) the female womb is no longer considered sacred in the same way it was before and the beauty of the female cycle is cast away. There are so many negative synonyms connected to the menstrual cycle (“the curse” being one of them) and what a horrible way to describe something so magnificant as the ability bear a child. I have many friends referring to their menstrual cycle as their “Moon” and I find that very beautiful.

Time to reconnect

Although this is indeed a very private and intimate subject I would like to share a bit of my experience with you as I think it is time for all women to reconnect with their sacred femininity. It is not something to be afraid of. In fact I think it is something that should be celebrated.

I had no idea what to expect when I tried my first yoni steam. My three herbs Lavender, Chamomile and Sage had boiled in a pot and I was ready to steam. It was such a strange feeling to sit over that pot for the first time (I will get into details with the how to do it further down). The steam from the herbs was so soft and gentle yet it was also intense. I had put on some soft music but quickly realised that it was way to much stimulation for my senses. My body (and my vagina especially) seemed to be thinking “What is going on here?!”.

I sat there for approximately 20 minutes the first time. After that I went to lay down on my bed to relax my body and mind. I was really trying to pay attention to what was happening inside of me. What emotions emerged. What thoughts came up. One of the strongest sensations for me was the feeling of having reconnected with a forgotten part of myself. I literally had the feeling that my yoni had its completely own personality. It was like meeting a new friend (or and old friend I guess) for the first time. To think she had been there all along and I never paid her this kind of attention. I would surely change that!

What is it good for?

Yes! Let’s look into some of the amazing benefits you can get from giving your sacred yoni some loving attention. First of all steaming is a cleanse and a detox and whichever herbs you decide to use will be part of this detox. The herbs, plants and flowers we have around us can help our body in many different ways and it is up to you to decide which herbs you wish to work with. Maybe you wish to use cleansing herbs to support the body’s natural ability to release the uterine lining when your period comes? You can also choose to use herbs after your period that helps the body’s ability to create new blood cells.

Here are some things that steaming is especially good for:

• Long periods or long cycles
• Heavy cramping
• Fibroids and cysts
• Blocked tubes
• Infections and unpleasant odor
• Infertility or miscarriage
• Menopause and hot flashes
• Past sexual trauma
• Decreased libido or lubrication

But steaming is not necessarily just about the physical benefits. A lot of mental stress or thought clutter can be released this way.

Let’s acknowledge that steaming is a tool we can use for our own self care along the lines of so many other things available to us.

How to do it?

All female bodies are different and it can take a bit of time to tune into what works for you. When is the right time to do it and how do you prefer to steam. If you build up a steaming practice you can better tune into what is suitable for you and what your body needs.

You will need:

  1. The herbs you wish to work with
  2. A pot to heat up your herbs
  3. A yoni stool made for the purpose OR you can use the toilet
  4. Something to cover yourself with that will keep the steam in your lower body

How to do it:

  1. Boil your hearbs in a small pot and keep the lid on to keep the medicinal properties of the herbs inside. Let them heat and boil for 5-10 minutes so the water can really absorb the herbs.
  2. Place a small towel around the pot and either place it under a yoni stool or in the toilet
  3. Cover the lower part of your body with a big scarf or sarong
  4. Check the temperature of the steam on your lower arm before you begin to steam. You definitely do not want to burn yourself
  5. Seat yourself on the stool or toilet and enjoy the session

After the steam it is suggested that you go lay down for a bit to let your body absorb the experience. I suggest you plan your steams so you have some time to yourself afterwards as well.

I found a video that gives you some visuals on how to steam and some suggestions on how to do it.

I hope you will have a wonderful experience experimenting with your own steams


Although ‘transformation’ has been a big part of my vocabulary these past few years, the word has been even more present with me lately and seems to be unfolding in new ways. Not just for me but also for the people around me.

Where this blogpost has ended is not where it began. Transformation and change are such big subjects and there are so many levels and roads to it. It is a never ending topic. I suppose this blogpost in itself has gone through many changes to get to this point, and if I was to keep on writing Im sure it would change and transform yet again. That is how it is. We constantly transform.

When transformation arrives

One of my clients who recenly experienced the plant medicine Ayahuasca for the first time is now going through a very big tranformation. He said to me: “I have waited for this transformation to take place for so long and for years I been preparing for it. Now when it is happening it is a lot to take in.” This brought us to a conversation about the many shapes and forms transformation can take and how it also sometimes show up in unexpected ways.

Are we ever really ready for change?

I am also personally moving through a new phase of my own transformation and it too feels like a lot to take in. One of the big themes in my life is “self love” and a big part of my own transformation has to do with exactly that. A week after I had the conversation with my client I suddenly started laughing as I realised that I was going through a very similar process. I could suddenly see how all the new things that seems to happen around me these days are in fact new colours of self love. Self love is showing up in completely new and unexpected ways – just like new petals unfolding from the same flower.

One step at a time

I was reminded of a very important lesson during a recent Plant Healing Ceremony: Change takes time and things need to unfold in their own way. Although change and transformation can seem to happen from one day to the other, it is likely to be a long process. Sometimes the process seems to be standing still and other times it might feel like someone placed their foot on the accelerator. nevertheless, everything is taking place step by step.

There are no quick-fixes

I was very ready and working hard to get down to the root cause of what my client carries. But it seemed I couldn’t get access for some reason. Although both she and I had the best intentions to “get to the bottom of this”, the plants had a very clear message: “Things need to unfold little by little and they are unfolding in the exact way they are supposed to. Things cannot be forced and there are no quick-fixes”. I had to laugh at the ‘quick-fix’ bit, because I KNOW this. There are no quick-fixes, but darn patience is a virtue. Sometimes we can get eager to get straight to where we’re headed but yes it is also about enjoying the journey.

Time for change

There can be so many reasons why change and transformation suddenly appear and make themselves known. Usually it happens when something in our lives is not working for us. Something needs to change. This can be everything from self destructive behaviour to unbeneficial repetitive patterns or looping thought patterns. What all these aspects have in common is that they are most likely defence mechanisms in one form or the other. They appeared at some point to protect us from something, and if we are ready to look at what this might be, then we are also ready for change.

This can be a very long phase, however. Accepting that something is not working and something needs to change is a big mountain to climb for most people (myself included). Deep down we don’t want to change. Our mind prefers to keep on doing whatever it is doing (even though it is unconstructive), because this is what we know. And what we know is safe. Change can be very scary and it takes courage to go there – even though change might be for the better.

Entering awareness

Once we have accepted that something is not working and that something needs to change, awareness enters the picture. I suppose you could say that this is the next step of the journey. By bringing awareness to whatever is not working for us we also slowly begin to bring our focus towards change. What can I do to change this or that?

It is time for a journey into our own self discovery. This can take many forms and because of that this phase can also be very long. And this brings us right back to the quick-fixes – they simply do not exist. We all have to individually try out different things to figure out “what works for me?”. This could be doing yoga, meditation, exercising more, eating healthier (notice how all of these are aspects of self love) or it could include educating ourselves through spiritual teachings, self help books or anything that helps to broarden our horizon.

What can make this phase frustrating is that it is all about try and error. Things simply do not change over night. We will have to visit and revisit our themes over and over again to get more pieces to the big puzzle. But the beautiful thing is that with every piece we move one step closer to discovering who we really are and to healing what needs to be healed deep down.

The pendulum

I was in my late twenties before I acknowledged and accepted that something needed to change. As I mentioned earlier my big theme is self love, and the lack thereof was manifesting through self destructive behaviour. This could be in very tangible forms such as eating unhealthy or drinking too much alcohol. But it could also be indirect in NOT doing things that were good for me – fx not going for a long walk, not meditating or not exercising. It could also present itself in more subtle ways as how I talked to myself etc.

I was subconcsiously sabotaging my own healing process

I enjoyed entering this journey towards self discovery and finding my self love, but after a while something became very clear to me: It seemed that every time I did something positive for myself I would soon thereafter do something equaly negative. It was like I was subconsciously sabotaging my own healing process. And of course I was. As we have already established – change is scary. This I did not realise in the beginning, however, but the more self loving I became the more self destructive I also seemed to get. It was like a pendulum swinging from one side to the other – slowly swinging higher and higher.

To be frank, this was very frustrating! Every time I felt like I was on the right track I realised that I had not at all gotten to the bottom of it. I realised that I was stubbornly sabotaging myself and was not at all willing to give up my self destructive behaviour. And I think this is a very common pattern. We will go through the same things again and again until we are finally able to say “ENOUGH!” – say it and mean it!

Hitting rock bottom

I knew deep down that I would somehow need to reach rock bottom before I would take myself seriously. We need to get pushed so deep into our own self loathing before we really act upon it. Not until then do we really understand the seriousness of the situation we find ourselves in. To be honest I was waiting for it and longing for it. I was afraid in what way it might show up, but by the end of all that pendulum swinging I was ready for it to stop. My self sabotaging behaviour was ruining my life.

I had already planned my journey to the jungle with the Ayahuasca Foundation, when I reached this point. My trip got postponed due to outer circumstances and this seemed to make me reach a peak and a realisation that I could not wait any longer. Luckily the Universe came to my aid. I flew to the jungle and my 8 week Initiation Course began. This was the turning point I needed.

Intellectual vs. physical knowledge

I am forever grateful for the healing that took place in the jungle during those 2 months. What my Plant Diets and numerous Ayahuasca ceremonies helped me with (amongst countless other things) was to FEEL everything. I got to feel my pain, my negative thought patterns, my insecurity, the way I viewed myself and the trauma my body carried. By feeling it I understood it and this is when the deep transformation within took place.

I needed to feel everything in order to fully understand it.

I definitely do not think that plant medicine is for everyone, but there is something crucial about a mind to body experience. All the intellectual knowledge that we collect needs to also be felt by our bodies somehow for the messages to truly sink in. This could for example be through sound therapy, breathwork or winter/ice bathing. All these are powerful tools to getting into the body.

Inner and outer transformation

One thing I have learned throughout my own process and by watching others’ processes is the effect of manifesting inner transformation through outer transformation. As we enter the deep layers of our inner healing we might feel very drawn to manifesting this through outer tangible changes. On smaller scales this could be cleaning up and throwing away things that does not serve us anymore. On bigger scales it might be changing jobs or physically relocating.

It can also include changing the way we look. Our hair for example is very much tied up with our identity. I had for example wanted to get dreadlocks for many years but was very concerned and occupied about with people’s opinions. When I decided to get dreadlocks it became a very symbolic manifestation of self love – I was doing what felt right for me. The very opposite can be for someone to shave their head to free themselves from the old and make room for the new to blossom.

What’s in a name?

I used to never understand why someone would change their name. I thought it was strange how people would go to a numerologist and come out with some long strange name. But I get it now. It was probably my own insecurities that were tied up in judging others . But changing our name is another way to manifest change. This could be in the beginning of a transformation in order to help the process along. It could also be later on to symbolise the transformation someone has already gone through.

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”

– William Shakespeare

My name is Anne Marie. I worked many years in international environments and people started calling me Ann Mary. As I entered the plant medicine space it turned into Mary. For many years this was the name most people called me. One early and very foggy September morning during an Ayahuasca retreat I experienced a rebirth. This is when the name Elvira came to me. I knew instinctly that this was my name somehow.

I have had many chats with the plants about this name. Did this mean I was supposed to change my name to Elvira? What about Mary? And I also like Anne Marie! I was really puzzled about all of this. Then my biggest Teacher Plant came to me and said:

You can call yourself whatever you like. It will not change who you are. But embracing a name can help you become who you want to be.

Noya Rao

Accepting your transformation

No one ever said that change is easy. This goes not only to ourselves but also to our surroundings. As we begin a journey of inner healing, transformation in some form is inevitable. Although we might be ready for this change, our surroundings might not be. These are some of the more unexpected aspects to changing.

When we begin to change this will undoubtedly have an effect on our surroundings and the people in our lives. Change is difficult and although we have asked to change the people around us did not ask for it. And maybe they thought everything was fine just the way it was. By changing ourselves we force the people in our lives to relate to a new version of us and this might be very inconvenient for them. Perhaps we had a subconcious role to play in their life that suddenly doesn’t fit anymore.

For the people who truly care for us the change might be difficult, but they will accept it. They will accept it because they love us. They want us to be happy in whatever form that may be. If this is not the case we might have to reevaluate that relationship. We might have to accept that some relationships do not work for us anymore. We do not work for them and they do not work for us. This too is difficult, but learning to set boundaries is yet another important step towards inner healing.

Plant Dietas

I don’t think anyone can fully understand or grasp the concept of what it means to diet with a plant until they have actually tried it. And how can you really? What does it mean to connect with a plant? What does it mean when a plant is communicating with you? Speaking on my own behalf I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into when I entered my first plant dieta, but my entire world was about to change.

It is impossible to fully and truly describe in words what it means to connect with a plant and some of the words and terms I use in this post might seem very odd and make no sense to you. The truth is that I AM guided by plants today and one of the things I am guided to do is spread awareness of exactly this: what it means to connect with plants and how the plants can help and assist us with all sorts of things. The plants are our allies and they are our friends.

The world of the plants have completely turned my life upside down

What is a plant dieta

The term dieta is used to describe an agreement a person makes with a specific plant in order to connect with it. You are building a relationship with the spirit of the plant. You can view the relationship as planting a small seed inside of you and as this seed grows bigger and bigger so will the relationship with the plant spirit. If you respect and honor this relationship you can expect to receive many teachings from the plant.

Entering a dieta with a plant is a big thing and should not be taken lightly. Many things can go wrong and you do not want to get off on the wrong foot. I recommend having someone experienced guiding you and checking your process along the way.

I am sure there are many different ways to diet with plants depending on which culture and tradition you follow. When people talk about a dieta they will usually refer to dieting the big Master Teacher Plants such as Noya Rao and Bobinsana of the Amazon or Oak and Pine in the North. I believe that all plants are teachers but not all plants should be dieted. You always want to do some research about a specific plant before you open a diet with it. With some plants I even do a much smaller meet-and-greet to connect but not do an actual extensive dieta. I will introduce you to these in future blogposts.

How does it work

I was introduced to dietas through the Shipibo tradition of the Amazon and in this tradition you begin by making a contract with the plant you wish to diet. This I mean quite literally. You list down the duration of the dieta (it is recommended to do your first dieta with a new plant for at least 2-4 weeks) along with all the things you plan to put into this dieta. This could for example include a specific amount of days fasting, being in silence and/or in solitude. The contract could also inlcude aspects you will be doing or things you will refrain from doing during the dieta.

The more you put into the dieta the stonger the result

The point of the dieta is to keep your body and mind as clean as possible in order to give the seed the best conditions to grow strong. Traditionally you will either fast completely or eat one meal a day consisting only of very basic foods and excluding everything like salt, sugar, spices and oil. In order to keep your body as clean as possible you would also exclude soap, lotions and surely anything with chemicals in it.

But it is not just about the food you ingest during the dieta. Cleanliness is also on a mental level so it is all about being aware of your thoughts, the people you surround yourself with, the music you listen to, the books you read etc. The list is never ending.

The healing plant Marusa – Pfaffia iresinoides

It is hard work

There are many reasons why dieting with a plant is hard work. Firstly, the contract in itself can be a challenge. Fasting, silence, solitude and whatever you have included in your contract is just hard work. It is no walk in the park and it takes dedication and devotion.

Secondly, you will become super sensitive. As the plant enters your body you will begin to feel its spirit through you. This includes its likes and dislikes so you might all of a sudden find yourself react and act in ways that are unfamiliar to you. These are ways for the plant to communicate with you. The plant can also communicate with you through your dreams or simply via your thoughts. This can feel like your intuition has just been hightened.

Thirdly, the plant is here to teach you and this will most likely take the form of life lessons and examples. You can surely expect all your triggers to be activated throughout your dieta and at least some of your themes brought to the surface. And we never really know what the plants want to teach us so these triggers can come in many varieties.

After the dieta

On top of all this the work is not done when you close your dieta. On the contrary, this is when the real work begins as you will now have to integrate your teachings. You can expect the lessons to continue in the form of tests and triggers and there can be many new things to navigate in. There is a very big chance that things within you have also changed completely, which means that the world you return to feels different and must be viewed with new eyes.

Things within me had changed dramatically and massive changes taken place

One of the biggest changes that happened for me after my first plant dieta was the fact that my sensitivety was turned up immensely. Suddenly I felt energies around me that I had never felt before. Today I am very sensitive to what I surround myself with and my entire system reacts to loud music, crowded places and negativity (in all forms). But with that sensitivety also comes a way for me to tune into myself in a way I have never been able to before and I feel guided and held in everything I do.

Why people diet with plants

So why go through all of this? If you enter the world of plants through a plant diet you can expect great healing and teachings coming your way. Building a relationship with a plant like this is like meeting a great Master Teacher. A teacher and a friend who will help you grow and become the best version of yourself. If you respect and honor this relationship, you can expect it to last for the rest of your life.

The lovely Bobinsana – Calliandra angustifolia

An Introduction to Ayahuasca

Since Ayahuasca has been such a big part of my own personal healing and transformation I would like to shed some light on what Ayahuasca is all about. In time I will share more detailed and in depth descriptions of my own journeys on my website. I advise everyone to do their own thorough research before deciding if this sacred medicine is right for them.

What is Ayahuasca

The name Ayahuasca is mainly used to describe the psychoactive medicinal brew or tea that is made from the Ayahuasca vine, Banisteriopsis Caapi, and is often referred to as “the Vine of the soul”. Other popular names include Mother, Grandmother or Grandfather. To some of the indegenous people of the Upper Amazon, Ayahuasca is referred to as “the mother of all medicines” and “the mother of all plants”. In this region Ayahuasca has been used for centuries as a brew that enables access to the visionary and mythological world as well as used for physical, mental and spiritual healing.

The indeginous people of the Amazon has worked with the plants for as long as we know

Most people who have experienced Ayahuasca (myself included) will refer to Ayahuasca as a feminine Spirit or entity who guides, teaches, and heals. She is perceived as a communicating being who also acts as a mediator between the human and plant worlds and in this way opens up a world of healing for us humans.

The Ayahuasca brew

There are many ways to prepare the Ayahuasca brew, but the main ingredient is the vine which is usually mixed with other admixture plants such as Chacruna or Chaliponga. It is possible to add other plants to the brew and ayahuasceros might work with specific plants for their healing properties. On a personal level I prefer to work with Caapi and Chacruna. Making the brew is a delicate process that take days and include a lot of sacred rituals along the way. Ihere are quite a few articles online that goes more in depth with the specific properties and constituates of the different plants, if this is something that interests you.

Preparing the Banisteriopsis caapi

Why do people drink Ayahuasca

In the old Amazonian traditions it would only be the curandero, the shaman, who would drink the medicine and through his or her singing they would help diagnose and heal the people that came to them for help. In modern times the method of working with the medicine has changed so that the curandero is now serving the brew to people who are interested in working with the plants themselves. It is in this form that most Westeners meet the medicine.

People will have many different reasons to why they feel called to connect with Ayahuasca, but a common denominator is the desire to receive guidance from the plants. This could be in order to heal parts of themselves by connecting with deep (known or unknown) childhood wounds, to change selfdestructive thought patterns or behaviour or to gain wisdom in one form or other from the plants.

I was personally running around in circles and something was not working for me at all. I had tried to change my selfdestructive behaviours so many times, but I seemed to be stuck in a loop

It is very individual what will happen once a person ingest the Ayahuasca brew but for most people it will be an experience of entering an altered state of mind, where communication with plants and spirits might take place. In this state a person might get the opportunity to explore aspects of their inner depths or shown things that is relevant for their current personal growth.

It is also very likely that a purge of some kind will arise, with the purpose of releasing something in the body or mind. A purge can take many forms such as vomiting and diarrhea or crying, sweating or shaking. It is all part of releasing things that does not serve the individual and a very natural aspect of working with the medicine.

“Sinfonia Shamanica” by Anderson Debernardi


There are no easy ways to change the things in our lives that we wish to change. It is hard work. It takes dedication, patience and forgiveness towards ourselves. Again and again we will be faced with the same challenges until we learn to change things step by step. Little by little.

The real work begins when you come home

Drinking Ayahuasca is by no means a quick fix and things will not change from one day to another. The medicine can maybe help you see things in a new light or even see things you did not see before. The medicine can perhaps guide you in the right direction, but afterwards it is all up to you to take the steps needed. This is very important to keep in mind before entering the world of plant medicine – there are no easy quick fixes.

Ayahuasca Contraindicators

It is important to mention that Ayahuasca is most definitely not for everyone as there are a long range of contraindicators with the brew. Anyone who considers going on a journey with this medicine should do their own thorough investigations to decide if this is the right path for them.

Always make sure to do your own thorough research

First of all diving into the universe of Ayahuasca can be very intense and overwhelming and one needs to be mentally prepared for what might come up. Deep traumas could reveal themselves and it is possible that further therapy is needed to integrate the experience afterwards.

A person’s physical and mental wellbeing are important aspects if considering drinking Ayahuasca. If one has serious medical conditions, high blood pressure or heart, liver or kidney diseases they should not consume this medicine. The same goes to some mental conditions as they can contraindicate very strongly with Ayahuasca.

Lastly there are numerous pharmaceuticals that contraindicate with the brew and this should be taken very seriously.


I have gathered some of my personal favorite documentaries for you to dive into if you are curious about Ayahuasca ceremonies, have a general interest in nature or wish to learn more about plant medicine.

I sometimes get asked if I can recommend a documentary about Ayahuasca or plant medicine in general, but the truth is I haven’t watched that many myself. Diving into the world of plant medicine is such a personal journey and it can be very hard to depict. I often find that there are aspects in a documentary that doesn’t really resonate with me one way or another – especially when it comes to Ayahuasca ceremonies.

But here are a few that will at least give you an idea of what the world of plant medicineit is about and why nature is so amazing. I will of course update it as I find more relevant content. Enjoy!

The Nature of Ayahuasca

In this documentary we are introduced to many aspects of Ayahuasca and the use of plant medicine as a means to heal. What to expect, how to prepare oneself and the importance of integration. It also touches upon the rising challenges we are facing as the Ayahuasca industry is growing. It is free to watch on youtube.

RECONNECT – THE MOVIE: Featuring Dennis McKenna, Jordan Peterson, Dr Joe Dispenza & More

I saw this movie recently and think it gives a good idea of some of the challenges we are facing as a society. I especially liked how it depicts the challenges that arises after you return from your Ayahuasca ceremonies and it is time to integrate. Ayahuasca is no quick fix – it takes dedication and hard work. RECONNECT – THE MOVIE is free to watch on youtube.


This is an absolutely amazing and beautiful film and one of my favorite documentaries. It teaches us about the magic world of fungi, how mycelium works and how much healing potential nature has to offer. It is currently available on Netflix or you can rent or buy it here. You can check out the movie trailer to begin with.


First of all thank you for making your way to my website! I hope I will be able to inspire you in one way or the other.

On this website I wish to give you an honest and open view of who I am and in time introduce you to different steps of my journey – including my transfirmation with Ayahuasca. I will be introducing different aspects of Sacred Medicine and the different areas I work with. We all have our own journey but I do believe that we can both learn from and inspire each other as well as support each other along the way.

My own transformation

There is of course a normal transformation taking place in all of us as we go through puberty and enter adult life. This transformation will continue throughout our lifetime as we grow, develop and learn. It is my belief that we all have certain themes and patterns that we repeart throughout our lifetime and well some are not as usefull as others. Some of the themes in my life seemed to evolve around my self esteem and (lack of) self love and the patterns I was repeating were especially self destructive behaviour. So these are the main things I have been working with in my transformation.

Who I was before

There is no specific date that marks a before and after. Instead there are a sequence of events that lead me to change the way I lived my life. From being very confused to being a lot less confused. From not knowing who I was to coming closer to finding myself.

Throughout my entire 20ies I was pretty confused. In my early 20ies I didn’t know what I wanted to study or where I was going with a career. Instead I worked several jobs and pursued my dreams of travelling and exploring the world. It was a great time and in all honesty I could probably have continued doing just that much longer, but as I have always tried my best to live up to expectations (my own and others) I felt like I should study something. So at the age of 26 I finished a marketing management degree only to realise that marketing was definitely not for me.

After some hard years in a beautiful long-distance relationship with my first true love my heart got completely broken and I completely lost my belief in love. My belief in love that had up until that point been my core value. This sent me spiralling into a very unhappy place with a wound that would take me years to heal. In hindsight I see that I probably had a depression back then, but I was not able to admit it at the time. Instead I put up a facade, partied too much and ran around in circles. But the truth is I felt very lost.

Somewhere in my 20ies

The breaking point

I realised that event planning was my thing and after working in the hotel industry for several years I decided to study event management instead. Finally I had found something I loved and I was also pretty good at it. A few years later I had landed a job that I really loved and dedicated myself 100% to and for a while I really lived for this job.

It was so important for me to live up to the expectations of my bosses that I let them place more and more work on my shoulders. Eventually I began cancelling things with my friends in order to meet my deadlines.

I kept myself so busy that there was no time to deal with my inner unhappiness. But everything was becoming a bit too much for me. In August 2017 I experienced a burnout.

Something needed to change

Luckily I realised that as soon as I quit my job I was actually OK and this breakdown truly became a blessing in disguise. I began questioning why I put SO much effort in working for a boss that took me for granted and realised I wanted to do something different. Something in my life needed to change. The only question was what.

In January 2018 I went to India and finished my first 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training at Arhanta Yoga Ashram. I had never thought I was going to be a yoga teacher but here I was and I really enjoyed it. Shortly hereafter I completed my studies to become a masseuse and dreams of being my own boss began to take form. 2018 also became the year that I took my first step into the world of plant medicine with two Ayahuasca ceremonies.

Arhanta Yoga Ashram 2018

The turning point

One year after my first Ayahuasca ceremony I found myself back at the retreat center. But this time as a volunteer and as part of the helper team. This is when I realised that I was finally on the right track.

I will never forget that sunny September afternoon during a round of sharing when I suddenly realised that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Little did I know my journey had only just begun.

Back in the city I was working a full time office job and next to it I was doing all I could to slowly establish my own business working as a yoga teacher and a masseuse. Once a month I would go back to the retreat center to volunteer as a helper and this is truly where I blossomed. I slowly began finding my way into who I truly was and many important lessons and realisations took place during this time. It was all small steps unfolding little by little.

The medicine was calling

But even though my transformation was already unfolding there were still some patterns I could not seem to change. Some very self destructive behaviour was so deeply rooted in me that it was quite frankly ruining my life. Unwillingly I was keeping myself in a familiar place of unhappiness. The closer I came to healing my wounds the more self destructive I got. It was a never ending circle. Like a pendulum swinging from one side to the other.

2 years after my first Ayahuasca experience I was back on the mattress. This time I would be diving deep with 4 Ayahuasca ceremonies and this is when my journey catapulted me forward. It was a deep and transformational week and my connection with the the sacred medicine grew very strong. During this week I truly felt the work of the plants in my own being and now Ayahuasca was calling me to the jungle.

September 2020

The jungle saved my life

In April 2021 I went to Peru to participate in an 8 Week Initiation Course with the Ayahuasca Foundation. Nothing in my life had ever made this much sense and I felt truly guided and held by the universe. Every cell in my body was telling me that this was the right thing for me – and it was!

In a matter of 2 months my entire world and the understanding I had of it was completely turned around.

I finally came to the root cause of my self destructive behaviour and was able to meet it all from a very loving place within myself. The plants became my biggest teachers and I have never before felt so supported and guided in my life.

I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life. Being on a path where I am able to assist others through their healing process is the most meaningful thing I have ever done. My entire being is filled with utter gratefulness to be able to do the work I do.

And at the same time I am very aware that my own transformation has still only just begun.